THE FREQUENCY OF HONEY

Edit: I forgot to say why I picked this story to post - it's because I went into the lab yesterday morning and found an earwig in the pH meter, clearly trying to help in some manner.

This is a science-fantasy short story I wrote last year for the Pod Writers' Guild. I unearthed it today and was amazed that although I wrote it months before even hearing about TechCo, let alone applying for a job there, the story accurately describes my day-to-day work in the lab.

I'll try to stick this behind a cut but I think the line that makes it work vanished from my blog layout the last time I redesigned it and needs adding back. Maybe this has worked?

The Frequency of Honey

HOLD TIGHT, BENEDICT XVI

Contrary to the appearance of this blog for the last month, I didn't set out for America and find myself falling off the edge of the world, nor did I elope with a cowboy or join a cult. I did learn that, for soul-sickness, few of my previous experiences could compare to 5 a.m. jetlag with a cold, in a hotel room twelve floors above Times Square - especially when pushing open the curtains reveals a huge video billboard for the Church of Scientology. Apart from that, New York City was incredible. It needs a recognised version of Jerusalem syndrome, because I'm pretty sure that's what I had while I was there.

I haven't updated since getting back because I went straight from one adventure into another - my second attempt at National Novel Writing Month. The goal is to write a 50,000-word-long first draft in the thirty days of November. My first attempt, last year, got to 25,000 words before I compulsively picked and edited myself into a black hole. This year, with a full-time job eating up valuable writing hours but also skimming off a lot of that anxiety, I've already reached 35,000 words. I feel like I'm standing on top of a ridge just beneath the summit of a mountain, taking a quick break for a cereal bar before powering up to the top. It's great, and I know the view from the very top will be even better.

As for my plot... there's not a lot I can say, besides that I broke out my half-joking emergency ejector seat three days in and it rearranged everything in surprising ways. "Oh well," I'd said before I began, "if I get really stuck I can always throw in the Pope on an elephant."

Seasonal links: very cute NaNoWriMo comics; Dr Wicked's Write or Die (now with offline version); How to Write Badly Well (thanks, Suzy!); The Electro-Plasmic Hydrocephalic Genre-Fiction Generator 2000 (thanks, David!).

I've managed to get Chrisi, Jenny and Dave and Sebastian (the Halls of the House of Usher) to participate in NaNoWriMo in various ways and it looks like this will rejuvenate the Pod Writers' Guild we ran last year. To celebrate and make up for the lack of recent postings I thought I would post a story I wrote for the Guild last summer, which will be in the next post.

A LITTLE SOMETHING ABOUT AMERICA

I'm going to New York. In fact, in about 24 hours I'll be there, getting off a plane at JFK airport. I am immensely excited.

This is my first business trip (unless you count an afternoon at a Haverhill industrial plant in February) and my first trip to the States as well, and it's to New York! I'll take a flight long enough that they have to serve a meal - I'm really curious what the vegan food will be like, though the airline's website made it sound promising. The plane will fly on a great circle through the Arctic: I might see icebergs through the window. I'll get to stay in a Holiday Inn, in a big hotel bed, with an ergonomic desk and a complimentary copy of USA Today (I think that's a newspaper). I'll go drinking in bad bars with my coworker Max and his New York friends. I'll see Grand Central Station and ... well, lots of tourist things. Ed gave me his Metro Card and at the weekend I plan to spend my time taking the subway and walking and looking up, up, up. Hopefully some museums too.

This trip has been a long time coming. Since the beginning of September, all my responses to invitations have had the caveat, "... if I'm not in America at the time." I'm sure my friends have got sick of it but so have I. The vagaries of international bureaucracy meant that I did make it to the Amanda Palmer show and the Grrrl Party night at the Kambar (riot grrrl/girlpop/queercore, oh my stars, the night I've wanted to go to since I was 18). On the other hand, I'm missing my chance to firewalk in aid of Arthur Rank Hospice Charity, a film night, the Pod Hallowe'en party. My flight was only booked on Monday, and only then because I panicked and insisted that if I delayed it further there would be no more flights to New York ever.

I've cut my hair and bought new shirts and new smart shoes. I got a credit card so I can put things on expenses. I am the repository of all my coworker Lara's travel tips and very grateful for them too.

The major bug in this trip, of course, is the mockery it makes of my vague plan to make one transatlantic flight with Dave and spend a few months seeing everything in the Americas before returning. I wanted this job because it would give me a chance to travel, but business travel doesn't really allow for catching slow boats across the Atlantic to minimise your carbon dioxide output. Or walking. I'm not sure what I'll do as penance if they ask me to go back - give up on electric light at home?

For the time being, consider me somewhere in transit. I'm taking Dave's phone (please note I'll have his number as well!) but will be trying not to use it too much. Edit: I have a new phone with a new number, and will try to let people know it on the way to the airport. I should get emails, with an uncertain delay, but expect to be mostly offline.

New York City, imagine that!

MEN AND FEMINISM, FEMINIST MEN

I seem to have read a lot of blog posts and articles recently about male feminists / feminist allies. By recently, of course, I mean a couple of months ago, because I haven't been writing here and the list of posts I'm "going to write" has been mounting up. This one is really just a round-up of links, the proverbial easy way to get back into blogging.

There is some debate over whether it's appropriate for men to call themselves feminists, or whether pro-feminist or feminist ally would be a better term. Personally, I don't have a problem with male feminists, so long as they aren't operating under the label to, for example, tell women to get back in the kitchen (the same goes for feminists of any other gender, of course). Here is the Finally, a Feminism 101 FAQ for a quick overview of the question. My goodness, that site is huge now.



I can think of at least three male feminists among my acquaintance. Happily, one of them is my boyfriend. A new friend pointed out to me the other day that "does not ridicule my political ideas" should really be a prerequisite in a relationship partner, but for me it's still a nice and refreshing change. Dave (who is certainly a feminist, and frequently mentions kittens, but neither in the same way as the guy above) and I have been writing at Not Powerless since April, and most of the posts tagged feminism are his work, simply because I haven't been writing much this year.

I'm not sure my brother Ed actually identifies himself as a feminist (hello Ed, let me know in the comments) but in his incarnation as grumpy hippy blogger he has chimed in on a few feminist issues and events, like the infamous "female students are a perk of the job" essay by Buckingham University Vice Chancellor Terence Kealey. Ed wrote,

I am now the only male student enrolled in the paediatric nursing course at my University, accross all three years of study (and two annual intakes!). All of the lecture staff are female, all of the hospital staff (with one exception, to my knowledge) will be female, and I will be a rarity across every class and ward I visit. Does this mean that I can expect to be oggled by every member of staff I encounter, or that I should flirt for every mark?

I'm looking forward to his reflections on his course over the next three years, "Diary of a child nurse".

My friend Lupie recently got called a "femtard" on Twitter for making the reasonable point that there must be male feminists, since he is a) male and b) a feminist. Heh. I should probably link to the blog of the name-caller, for it is in some wise hilarious, but I would feel worried about catching something off it.

From men I know in real life to a few of the links I mentioned, though I'm sure I'm forgetting some of them:

• "Apologize." I loved this story from Female Impersonator: a young man in a socially intimidating situation standing up against casual rape jokes, and making people pay attention. It may be a small thing but they add up. We really need more people like this.
• We need volunteers. XY, an online magazine about men, masculinities and gender politics, needs writers/bloggers/etc. I would encourage any men reading this blog to have a read and maybe submit something to them! I heard about them via the F-Word Blog (of course) and agree with them that the zine Don't Be A Dick looks interesting. I haven't read it yet, though.
• Men! Feminism needs you! (Not your privilege...) is an article on the F-Word from last year offering advice to men starting to think about or join in with feminist activism.
• On the topic of advice, I should really contribute to spreading this article around, also from you-guessed-where: Sexual assault prevention tips, guaranteed to work!

What do you think about men and feminism? Did I miss out any avid male (pro-)feminists in my circle of friends, or any good links? Please feel free to chime in in the comments.

AMANDA PALMER, UNION CHAPEL, ISLINGTON, 12TH SEPTEMBER 2009

Edit: I finished this post quite late at night and this morning was worried that I'd forgotten the part where I say that I actually enjoyed the gig! I did; in fact, I was pretty much beside myself throughout.

Hayley and Kirsten (LJ, friendslocked) have both blogged about the night now too.


Amazing cycling piano outside the venue.

Last night, Dave and I went to see Amanda Palmer play at Union Chapel in Islington, one of three shows she's playing in London this weekend despite not really being on tour. We went with Kirsten and met Hayley, Carina and Ruth at the venue.


Amanda Palmer

Union Chapel is a beautiful building - Victorian Gothic architecture with a vaulted octagonal hall - and much smaller than Koko's in Camden, where we saw Ms Palmer last year. Then, she was touring an impressive art show with Jason Webley, the Danger Ensemble and Zoe Keating; this time, the bulk of the evening consisted of Amanda and her Kurt Weil keyboard. She was nearly on the same level as the audience on the ground floor, and spitting distance from the third pew back, where we sat. The support act, Polly Scattergood and her band, joined Amanda onstage for a few songs during her set, and Neil Gaiman came on as well, a magnificent look of longsuffering on his face as he sang a filthy hymn.


Polly Scattergood

The intimacy of the venue and family atmosphere of the performers matched the setlist well: a mix of songs from Who Killed Amanda Palmer, older Dolls pieces that haven't often been performed and unexpected covers. I was very happy that she played my favourite WKAP song, "Runs in the Family", as well as "Delilah" from Yes, Virginia... Polly Scattergood sang the second vocal on that, from a green spotlight on the balcony, and it worked beautifully. "Oasis", towards the end of the night, was of course the big, handclapping, jolly band moment it always is. Maybe twenty minutes later, Amanda started her encore standing at the edge of the stage to sing "Me and a Gun" by Tori Amos in a strong voice into utter stillness.


Amanda Palmer

Even more so than at other AFP/Dresden Dolls gigs, there was a feeling of community at this show, both within the audience and between us and the performers. It's probably not unexpected, since Amanda Palmer, Neil Gaiman and Beth Hommel (photographer and Amanda's assistant, who was also there) are so very open and connected to the fans via blogs, Twitter, the Shadow Box forum and so on. At the same time, seeing them and Neil Gaiman's daughter Holly, who shows up in his blog now and then, in the flesh, person-sized and looking like themselves, had a strange effect - something like spotting Susan, Libby and Karl Kennedy walking down your street as a family. (Yeah, it's a Neighbours reference.)

Kirsten, Dave and I queued up for the brief signing afterwards. Kirsten had brought her WKAP book and had been gearing herself up all day to talk to Neil and Amanda when they signed it. I had forgotten my book and bought a poster, vaguely thinking I could have it signed if we happened to end up in the queue, but had given the signing itself no thought at all. Despite the feeling of knowing them both inside out (well, in part anyway) I found myself very starstruck in the crunch. At least I got out a thank you. I think that's important.

A few more of my pictures are here, and Kirstens much better ones are here.

BLUEFIN TUNA IN DANGER OF EXTINCTION, UKIP DOING BETTER THAN I THOUGHT

How strange. Once Dave had put up this post at Not Powerless, on the fate of the bluefin tuna, I of course wrote an email about it to all seven of my MEPs and the UK's EU Trade Commissioner, Catherine Ashton. This was a few days ago and to be honest I wasn't really expecting a response - but today I got one, from the UK Independence Party of all people, fervently assuring me that

We are grateful that you have shared with us your concerns in relation to the future of bluefin tuna and will certainly take an active interest in the application to add them to Appendix I of CITES, which would make it officially an endangered species.

I am surprised whenever I'm reminded that UKIP are actually still a functioning political party, and I certainly wouldn't vote for them. If they're habitually so much more responsive to their constituents than their rival parties, though, it goes some way to explaining their continued existence.

This is the current state of bluefin tuna affairs:

The European Commission said it would support the EU co-sponsoring a proposal by Monaco to list the species under the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species (CITES) next March.

But the EU will not fully commit until its 27 member countries have been consulted on September 21 or before new scientific data emerges in November.

Things are looking better than they were, but powerful business interests are against the move. A few more emails to your representatives can't hurt - encourage your MEPs to do whatever they can to support the proposal! Handy links are at the bottom of Dave's post.

PUBLIC CLASS KITTEN

I got a typewriter in the post yesterday! It's a 70s (I think) Olympiette Special and I have named it Gladys, after the lady who wrote four books on it in the 70s and 80s, Gladys Rosa Lennox.

Amusingly, on being confronted with a strange device bearing lettered keys, Dave's first response was to write code on it (see above). Code about kittens, indeed.

Part of my plan for tonight was to post pictures of Gladys, write about the history of my love of typewriters, and try my hand at the delightful art of typecasting. Unfortunately, my housemates and I have spent the evening in a council of war against the depradations of our shifty, lying, incompetent letting agency, who want to evict us. It is can be Typewriter Night sometime soon, when I'm more confident of keeping a roof over my and Sparky's heads.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, METAL BEETLE!

Just a quick post to congratulate Dave's company, Metal Beetle Ltd, on reaching its first birthday! Over the last year Dave has worked very hard on his Beetley projects (including Fractal Fripperies, Space Exploration: Serpens Sector and various freelance things) and deserves to celebrate. I'm very proud of him.

Click through to the Metal Beetle page for more news and the celebration: the Beetle has a cake, and there is a discount code for Fractal Fripperies t-shirts.

The awesome picture of the Beetle and its cake was drawn by Lupie Stardust, who now has his own lovely art website and takes commissions.

(My friends are so talented!)

EVERY BODY IS BEAUTIFUL: BODY ACCEPTANCE ACTIVISM IN MY NEIGHBOURHOOD

Edit: Now crossposted at Not Powerless.



On my way to work, I cycle past a gym called Greens. It's a Health and Fitness Club, in fact, or perhaps even more of a lifestyle centre, complete with "stylish, fully licensed bar and brasserie" and "luxurious health and beauty salon".

Outside the car park, on the corner of a main road where hundreds of people must see them every day, Greens have two large advertisements. The posters, which are changed regularly, used to be the size of the ones in bus stops. They recently replaced the old boards with two enormous ones, nearly ten feet tall and each completely covered with a new ad.

The images below are representative of the Greens advertising style. The new ad in question featured the bum of a woman in bright pink shorts, and if I remember correctly, the model was actually pointing her finger directly at her rump. The caption read, "Does my bum look big in this?"

These ads present the female body - usually divested of its head or any other indication that it belongs to an individual person - in a purely passive, sexual way. Even the two women who seem to have been exercising, one with a Swiss ball and the other with boxing gloves, are posed to be coy, inviting, sexually receptive. This is the only image of female beauty that is possible in the Greens advert. Additionally, this is a beauty only attainable by women who have the means to buy a membership to this expensive and luxurious health club and the leisure time to spend many hours working out there.

Greens offer many classes (in aerobics and so on) and talk about health benefits on their website. I'm sure you could get fit there, but according to their advertising the primary reason for women to join is to conform to this sexualised, exclusive and unrealistic notion of beauty. For the men? Either they don't need to be advertised to, or Greens is counting on the timeworn idea that a few shots of tits and ass will lead them wherever the advertiser wants.



I say, "if I remember correctly," because I came back past Greens yesterday to find that the posters had been pulled down and the graffiti above sprayed on one of the boards: Every body is beautiful.

I was overjoyed to see this - activism for body acceptance and against this unrealistic beauty standard, in my very own neighbourhood. I have been annoyed with these ads - which are put up in several other places around the area too - since I started noticing them, almost as much for the bad puns they sport as for their representation of female beauty (they never feature men). I'd never really moved on from annoyance to anger or determination to act, though. I think part of my pleasure in seeing this graffiti is because it's a reminder that kicking against these images, which dominate our public spaces without our consent, is possible and has an effect.

I wonder who wrote this? I'd like to meet them.

CAMBRIDGE IDEAS: THE MUSIC IN ME

I'm still a little skeptical that posting this is a great idea, but if you wanted to see the Cambridge Ideas film that Dave and I were in, it can be found here.

Strangely, there are far too many clips of me saying nonsensical things and almost none of Dave, except for some general shots, in which he looks simply dreamy. I have no other comments to make because I'm still running around inside my head saying, "Aaaah, do I really look and sound like that? What was I saying?"